"When you change your frame of reference you expand your possibilities." PJD www.hypnotherapy-haverhill.com

Stepping Back To Move Forward

Gaining Perspective

Oftentimes we become so immersed in our day to day life that we lose perspective on what is really important. I think of this as the effect of “cumulative clutter” both mentally and physically.

Take a moment to just look around you, in your life, your home or even work. How much clutter is gathering? What does your workspace look like? How is the brain space? One of the common statements I hear from my hypnosis clients after a session is that of having some “brain Space.”

The beauty of having hypnotic brain space is that the effects often spill out into all areas of your life. I know that many of my anxiety clients will wait and wait and wait, sometimes for months before calling me on the telephone. The nature of the anxiety I guess! Then after a session of hypnosis in my Haverhill office, they will often say, "I wish I had called sooner, I can't believe that I put up with this for so long."

That is the nature of cumulative clutter; it overwhelms us and stops us from gaining a detached perspective on our life and it prevents you from seeing things as they really are, without the associated distortions.

I too found myself getting too much clutter going on inside and out and decided to step back and de-clutter. I have hundreds of books and audio programmes and course material and myriad other learning mediums that I have studied or dipped into and found myself surrounded by all of this “stuff.”

Out of all this “stuff” I found a programme of time management by David Allen, called “Getting Things Done” and part of his key message about all of this information is to effectively ask yourself some simple questions:

• Is it actionable?

• What’s the next action?

• What’s the desired outcome?

There is obviously a lot more to his system and I do recommend it if you want to get more organised.

For me though, it was the prompt to tidy up my clutter and become more focused on creating the physical and emotional balance in my life and my work as a therapist and trainer. The key is to follow a new path and de-clutter.

How can you de-clutter as easy as ABC

• Actualise and make the decision that you are going to de-clutter in your life.

• Back off and gain some perspective.

• Chunk the tasks down to small actions and chip away until completed.

Once you have started to take action you can then ask yourself these two questions:

“What do I need to let go of?”

“What is worth keeping?

These questions relate to all aspects of life, such as people, possessions, feelings and any other baggage that could be weighing you down. Is it time to lighten your load and step back to move forward?

Until next time

Pete

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter Doherty specialises in fat loss for the over 50’s and runs seminars and one-to-one sessions to teach effective and safe fat weight loss in Haverhill, Suffolk, thereby allowing clients to take back control of their life. He has extensive experience in this area and has fought his own battle with weight and has lost over four stone using his own strategies. Get instant access to his free report, “Secrets to Effective Fat Loss” visit: http://www.fat-loss-seminars.com

Stretching Your Zones

Easy > Learning > Anxiety Zones

 

I would like to share with you a model that demonstrates how we can grow and develop or stay fixed and unchallenged in our life.

 

Easy Zone

This is where we spend a majority of our time, it is the familiar, and it is what we know. In this zone we are comfortable and quite safe. Unfortunately, while we stay in this zone we are not learning or growing as a human being, we are standing still so to speak. We may want to grow and develop in many ways, but unless we move out of this zone we will not.

 

Learning Zone

 

When you decide that you want to learn something new or to start building your Confidence and experience, this is the zone you enter. It creates a mild challenge for you, but it is manageable as you work through your new experience. This is where learning is made relatively easy, you are not being overly extended and the learning is in bite-sized chunks.



 

Anxiety Zone

 

This zone is best avoided whenever possible, because oftentimes learning will not happen here. Take for example learning to drive, if you had your first ever driving lesson and the instructor took you through a very busy traffic area and gave very limited guidance, then in all likelihood you would become very anxious and not take in any learning from the experience, apart from the possibility of learning to be anxious in high traffic situations. Learning occurs most effectively if it is done in small chunks and moving from simple to complex ideas and concepts.

 

Whenever possible, move through the learning zone first and by doing this you will also increase the size of your easy zone as you progress.

 

As part of the process of any journey or new learning experience, you have to give some thought to the needs you have in relation to the task at hand. There are two questions that you can ask yourself when planning the start of any new process and they are:

 

1. What do I want specifically?
2. How will I evidence the successful outcome?

 

The Learning Zone

 

When you ask yourself these questions, it will focus your mind on a specific and tangible end result and not some “woolly” unfocused dream. Having a clear outcome in mind is an important part of the process and will allow you to take into account anything that may not be realistic or could potentially hold you back from the task.

 

Taking on any new experience and breaking it down into manageable chunks will make the whole process far more enjoyable.

 

Until next time

 

Pete

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter Doherty specialises in fat loss for the over 50’s and runs seminars and one-to-one sessions to teach effective and safe fat weight loss in Haverhill, Suffolk, thereby allowing clients to take back control of their life. He has extensive experience in this area and has fought his own battle with weight and has lost over four stone using his own strategies. Get instant access to his free report, “Secrets to Effective Fat Loss” visit: http://www.fat-loss-seminars.com

Creating Your Self Esteem

From Anxiety-Hypnotherapy in Suffolk

When life, work, stress, relationships, anxiety and other pressure of life become a drain on your own physical and mental resources, how can you ensure that you remain balanced and healthy?

Imagine yourself as a Goal Keeper. Everything and everyone else around you may become penalty kickers, at one point or another. These penalty kickers will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember if you don’t save those penalties. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which penalties should you avoid?

Penalty 1: Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Stay out of this; it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Penalty 2: Other People’s Behaviour – The Energy Vampires

Beware the Energy Vampires; they will literally drain your energy. They are forever whingeing about everything and everybody. I am sure you have met them, I know I have and they can cause so much stress for you if you allow them in.… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Penalty 3: Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it. As Bruce Lee once said, “Change is constant – growth is optional.”

Penalty 4: Past Experience

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the throat and choke your self esteem. Treat each experience in life and each mistake as a lesson from which you can learn, hold on to positive learning and let go of what is not useful.

Penalty 5: Negative Perceptions

It seems to hold true that whatever you are constantly focusing on, you will attract into your life. Think of ways to change this thought process and don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Penalty 6: Negative Choices

The one thing that we all truly have is the power of Choice. However many people choose to take the negative world view with comments such as, “It never goes well for me.” However, imagine for a moment, what would become possible if you decided from this day forward to make the choice of looking for the positives in life?

Now I am not saying that when you do look for positive choices, they will always go well. What it does do though, is create a healthier environment for your mind and body, because you are looking for the sunshine and not the clouds.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. It’s like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our life and well-being. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy.

A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

Whenever I work with my clients at Anxiety-Hypnotherapy in Suffolk, I will always give them a CD for Well-being and Self-Esteem, because I personally believe that low self esteem is a fundamental cause for many of the anxiety issues that people face in this day and age.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter Doherty specialises in helping clients to overcome Anxieties, Fears, and Phobias, Stress Management, Stopping Smoking and Weight Loss, thereby allowing clients to take back control of their life. He has extensive experience in this area and particularly in helping people to overcome their psychological blocks in life. To get instant access to his free report, “Keys To Anxiety” visit: http://www.anxiety-hypnotherapy.co.uk

Copyright 2011 Peter Doherty

This article may be reprinted provided no part thereof is edited in any way and this resource box is included.

Phobias ~ the Silent Gaoler

Imagine the scene, you have had a busy year and are badly in need of a break. A nice family holiday by the sea where you can put your feet up and relax for a week or two, maybe Cornwall or Devon, because it is easy to drive there from where you live. As you ponder on this dream vacation, your visualisation is disrupted by the sound of the front door opening. As you look up, you see your partner standing there with an expression of excitement on his / her face. You ask why the excited look and your partner says, “I have won an all inclusive holiday to Disneyland in Florida.” The words don’t entirely sink in, you immediately feel that rush through your body, and your breath becomes shallow and your heart races. As the panic sets in, the thought of flying activates that inappropriate feeling and once again that phobic response takes hold.

Does that sound familiar?

Well, it does not have to be that way, there is a way forward and as you read every word of this article you may be pleasantly surprised.

So what is a Phobia?

A phobia has been described as an irrational fear of a particular situation or being placed in a specific context without sufficient resources to deal with that situation. I particularly like the following brief definition of a phobia:

Marks (2005, p 10) states:

“A phobia is a special kind of fear which exceeds demands of the situation, cannot be reasoned away, is beyond voluntary control, and leads to avoidance of the feared situation.”

A person who is overwhelmed with a phobia knows consciously that it is irrational and is often unnecessary. However, when faced with the phobic situation the body goes into an almost involuntary response and oftentimes results in a form of panic attack.

When the person experiences this, they will extricate themselves from the situation, which in turn, further embeds the fear into the brain. Essentially creating a vicious cycle that may seem beyond the control of the sufferer.

This is why a person with a phobia will avoid the phobic situation at any cost. So, if your phobia is a fear of flying, you can pretty much live your life without too much disruption, it just means that you limit yourself to non flying activities. However, if you have a family, then they also become somewhat limited in relation to travel. I have known of people who would rather drive across Europe and take two or three days to get to their destination rather than fly for two hours. Not a good option if you have young children!

Phobias are generally classified into three types:

· Social Phobia (Fear of social situations one or many)

· Agoraphobia (Panic Disorder)

· Specific phobia (Animals, Objects, Specific Contexts)

The fear of flying fits into the category of a Specific Phobia. Each of the above Phobia Types also has sub-categories, which are beyond the space for this article.

Symptoms of a Phobic Response:

· An overpowering fear of the object or situation.

· Dizziness.

· Shaking.

· Irregular heartbeat.

· Difficulty thinking about anything other than the fear.

· Fight – Flight response, wanting to run away from the situation.

· Worrying constantly about approaching events that involve the phobia.

Now, you may be thinking, “That’s all well and good but how do I get over it?”

Well, let me tell you, there is a way through from the worst effects of most phobias, certainly to bring them down significantly to a manageable level.

Thanks to recent developments in the fields of Clinical Hypnosis, Thought Field Therapy (TFT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) professionally trained and qualified therapists now have an eclectic and multi-faceted approach to assist their clients to overcome their phobias, anxieties and fears, quickly, safely and easily. Often in as few as three sessions, some therapists, me included have developed an approach whereby I work with a client over a four hour period to address the presenting problem at the deepest level of the unconscious mind, which in turn creates rapid results on most occasions. The first part of the session will be carried out in a clinical setting (In vitro).

The sessions will invariably finish with the client facing and working through the phobia using “Graded Exposure” in the situation feared, (In vivo). The therapist will be there to guide, support and assure the client that they will be ok. This will prove to the client that he / she is indeed over the phobia and now has more freedom in their life.

What is involved in the therapy session?

Typically you will contact your therapist by telephone and at that time you will be able to ask many questions of him / her relating to their structure of treatment, techniques used and maybe even their training. This conversation will give you an opportunity to gauge if there is a sense of rapport between you both. I believe that this is an important stage in your treatment; you need to know that this person will do their best for you.

Strangely enough it is at this point that I am determining if I want to work with the client. Some people want the magic pill and unfortunately there is none. To get results from any change work, you have to be prepared to step up to the line and do whatever it takes to make it happen, with the guidance of your therapist of course! When you have that attitude, change is definitely possible.

When you have your first session, your therapist will take a detailed case history in relation to your phobia and together you agree on a set of outcomes that you would like to achieve realistically as a result of your treatment. This outcome setting process is almost like a beacon for you. It gives you a clear and realistic possibility for change; it also acts as a benchmark that allows you to track your progress objectively.

In my own practise I will use tools from NLP, TFT, and Clinical Hypnosis to give my clients the best possible chance for success. I will teach them how to apply these techniques for themselves in many situations not just the phobic one.

I believe that it is important that clients are empowered to use the appropriate techniques for themselves with my guidance. This means that they will become independent and able to cope out in the world and not be totally dependant on me.

A very important aspect of the treatment is “Graded Exposure” to the feared thing to ensure that they work in the clinical setting carries over into the situational setting. Initially, this may be very challenging for the client and it is not uncommon for them to scream, shout and maybe even swear. This is where both the therapist and the client need to remain resolute in their commitment to the process. It is vitally important that the client remains in the situation until the physiological responses calm down, and they will. During the “Exposure Phase” I will have my client using anchors (An NLP Technique) and tapping from TFT, while facing their fear until it subsides.

I have had people with an extreme reaction to house spiders hold one in their hand after the treatment and comment, “This is bizarre.” I am not saying you are going to want to do that and fall in love with spiders, snakes or whatever, just that you will be able to have a more appropriate response if faced with those situations. I taught some People with a fear of heights to use TFT and we did the process at the “Go Ape” course in Suffolk. There are many other conditions, including someone with a fear of belly buttons! But that’s another story.

How can this work for you?

Well, the first step would be to make that decision and contact a suitably qualified therapist with experience in this area. Give yourself permission to accept that you are ok and very normal and you are. People who do not have a phobia find it difficult to comprehend the impact of sufferers and how it can sometime debilitate their lives. However, it does not have to be that way. These days we have moved away from delving into your past to find a hidden meaning for your phobia. Phobias are often the result of what psychologists call “One trial learning” or classical conditioning, just like Pavlov’s dogs. This “One Trial Learning” is good news for you really, because you can unlearn the response just as quickly with the support of a good therapist.

Of course there are many theories in relation to phobias and their formation and some make evolutionary sense, such as a fear of snakes, spiders and flying things which may be deep rooted in our unconscious mind.

Three Steps to overcoming your phobia

1. Decide that now is the time for change.

2. Find a qualified therapist to work with and book your session.

3. Commit to do whatever it takes to get back control.

Don’t let your fears, phobias or anxieties prevent you from enjoying life. There is a way through and when you breakthrough, a whole new world awaits you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter Doherty specialises in helping clients to overcome Anxieties, Fears, and Phobias, allowing clients to take back control of their life. He has extensive experience in this area and particularly in helping equestrians to overcome their psychological blocks in riding. To get instant access to his stress reduction technique visit: www.anxietyreduction.co.uk

Copyright 2010 Peter Doherty

This article may be reprinted provided no part thereof is edited in any way and this resource box is included.

All We Have is Now

I know it is sad to admit to this, but yes, I do the Facebook thing occasionally. Well, I went for a visit yesterday and a good friend of mine had asked the following question:

“OK for those of you who answered the last comment about what you would do with the £86,400 you received daily! The next installment...You all gave it some thought, you seem to have a plan, think about the number, 86,400 why was I so specific? you get 86,400 of these every day....do you place as much thought into planning what you would do with these as you would with £86,400…think about it…what could they be?”

Well, my first attempt was, “Negative Thoughts”, because I know when people are stressed or suffering from anxiety, they activate a lot of ruminative thinking patterns. So feeling fairly pleased with myself I posted my response.

Alas, I was off track and had to rethink my answer and then it occurred to me, it’s all about time. We have 86,400 seconds every day, no more, no less and what do we do with that time to maximise our lives?

That set me to thinking “What do I do to maximise my 86,400?” I thought about how easy it is to just put things off for another day or to make some weak excuse for not following through. It caused me to do a lot of thinking.

I thought about my reasons for being a therapist and helping people to overcome anxiety, fears and phobias, letting go of stress and gaining confidence. I thought about the people I have known and some of whom I loved who have passed away in the recent past. I thought about how in real terms our time is very limited on this stage of our journey. I thought about the “Rocking Chair Test.”

I heard about the Rocking Chair Test while listening to Tony Robbins, a very inspirational and motivational speaker. In short the test is, if you imagine going out into your future and seeing your life through those eyes as you sit in your rocking chair and then reflect on your life.

What would you be pleased about?

What would you regret not having done?

What did you always dream about, but did no more than dream?

This very simple, yet powerful exercise will give you a real wake up call, particularly if you are procrastinating every day.

As Mark Twain once said:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

Explore…Dream…Discover…

So, start now.

I know now what I am going to do to maximise my 86,400…do you?

Until next time

Take care

Pete

PS.Remember, if you are feeling a little stressed get my “Daily Smash The Stress” Protocol here FREE: www.anxietyreduction.co.uk

Skype and Therapy

Hello all and thanks for dropping by.

First of all let me wish you all the best for 2010 and hope that you make it YOUR year for positive change.

One of my projects for this year is to establish an extra element to my therapy services in the form of Skype and a web cam. I believe that this will enable people to access therapeutic change from wherever they live. I know that Anxiety causes so much heartache and pain to thousands of people. It can be a very debilitating condition and has no respect for your status in the world. If you think that you are alone when experiencing Anxiety, you are not...it hits us all when we least expect it (indeed, when we least need it).

Through the use of some very simple yet powerful techniques I have been able to see many people take back control of their lives and start to enjoy life once again.

In 2010 I will post some useful stuff on here and on my main site that you can have for free, so keep popping back it won't be too long before they are ready.

All the best

Pete